<?xml version="1.0"?>       <!DOCTYPE package PUBLIC "+//ISBN 0-9673008-1-9//DTD OEB 1.0 Package//EN"         "http://openebook.org/dtds/oeb-1.0/oebdoc1.dtd"><html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/x-oeb1-document; charset=utf-8" /><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/x-oeb1-css" href="devil.css" /><title>The Devil&#8217;s Dictionary: J</title></head><body lang="en-US"> <h1>J</h1> <p class="firstpara">J is a consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel—than which nothing could be moreabsurd. Its original form, which has been but slightly modified, was that ofthe tail of a subdued dog, and it was not a letter but a character, standingfor a Latin verb, <i>jacere</i>, “to throw,” because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog’s tail assumes thatshape. This is the origin of the letter, as expounded by the renowned Dr.Jocolpus Bumer, of the University of Belgrade, who established his conclusionson the subject in a work of three quarto volumes and committed suicide on beingreminded that the j in the Roman alphabet had originally no curl.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">jealous</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Undulyconcerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">jester</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Anofficer formerly attached to a king’s household, whose business it was to amusethe court by ludicrous actions and utterances, the absurdity being attested byhis motley costume. The king himself being attired with dignity, it took theworld some centuries to discover that his own conduct and decrees weresufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of allmankind. The jester was commonly called a fool, but the poets and romancers haveever delighted to represent him as a singularly wise and witty person. In thecircus of to-day the melancholy ghost of the court fool effects the dejectionof humbler audiences with the same jests wherewith in life he gloomed themarble hall, panged the patrician sense of humor and tapped the tank of royal tears.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">The widow-queen of Portugal</p><p class="poetry">Had an audacious jester</p><p class="poetry">Who entered the confessional</p><p class="poetry">Disguised, and there confessed her.</p><p class="poetry">“Father,” she said, “thine ear bend down—</p><p class="poetry">My sins are more than scarlet:</p><p class="poetry">I love my fool—blaspheming clown,</p><p class="poetry">And common, base-born varlet.”</p><p class="poetry">“Daughter,” the mimic priest replied,</p><p class="poetry">“That sin, indeed, is awful:</p><p class="poetry">The church’s pardon is denied</p><p class="poetry"> To love that is unlawful.</p><p class="poetry">“But since thy stubborn heart will be</p><p class="poetry">For him forever pleading,</p><p class="poetry">Thou’dst better make him, by decree,</p><p class="poetry">A man of birth and breeding.”</p><p class="poetry">She made the fool a duke, in hope</p><p class="poetry">With Heaven’s taboo to palter;</p><p class="poetry">Then told a priest, who told the Pope,</p><p class="poetry">Who damned her from the altar!</p><p class="citeauth">Barel Dort</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">Jews-harp</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Anunmusical instrument, played by holding it fast with the teeth and trying to brush it away with the finger.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">Joss-sticks</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Smallsticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">justice</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Acommodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to thecitizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.</p>  </body>    </html>