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<?xml version="1.0"?>       <!DOCTYPE package PUBLIC "+//ISBN 0-9673008-1-9//DTD OEB 1.0 Package//EN"         "http://openebook.org/dtds/oeb-1.0/oebdoc1.dtd"><html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/x-oeb1-document; charset=utf-8" /><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/x-oeb1-css" href="devil.css" /><title>The Devil&#8217;s Dictionary: R</title></head><body lang="en-US">   <h1>R</h1> <p class="entry"><span class="def">rabble</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> In arepublic, those who exercise a supreme authority tempered by fraudulentelections. The rabble is like the sacred Simurgh, of Arabian fable—omnipotenton condition that it do nothing. (The word is Aristocratese, and has no exactequivalent in our tongue, but means, as nearly as may be, “soaring swine.”)</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">rack</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Anargumentative implement formerly much used in persuading devotees of a falsefaith to embrace the living truth. As a call to the unconverted the rack neverhad any particular efficacy, and is now held in light popular esteem.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">rank</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Relativeelevation in the scale of human worth.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">He held at court a rank so high</p><p class="poetry">That other noblemen asked why.</p><p class="poetry">“Because,” ‘twas answered, “others lack</p><p class="poetry">His skill to scratch the royal back.”</p><p class="citeauth">Aramis Jukes</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">ransom</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Thepurchase of that which neither belongs to the seller, nor can belong to thebuyer. The most unprofitable of investments.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">rapacity</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Providencewithout industry. The thrift of power.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">rarebit</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> AWelsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not arabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained that the comestible known astoad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, and that <i>riz-de-veaua la financiere</i> is not the smile of a calf prepared after the recipeof a she banker.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">rascal</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A foolconsidered under another aspect.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">rascality</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Stupiditymilitant. The activity of a clouded intellect.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">rash</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Insensibleto the value of our advice.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">“Now lay your bet with mine, nor let</p><p class="poetry">These gamblers take your cash.”</p><p class="poetry">“Nay, this child makes no bet.” “Great snakes!</p><p class="poetry">How can you be so rash?”</p><p class="citeauth">Bootle P. Gish</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">rational</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Devoidof all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">rattlesnake</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Ourprostrate brother, <i>Homo ventrambulans</i>.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">razor</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Aninstrument used by the Caucasian to enhance his beauty, by the Mongolian to makea guy of himself, and by the Afro-American to affirm his worth.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reach</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Theradius of action of the human hand. The area within which it is possible (andcustomary) to gratify directly the propensity to provide.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">This is a truth, as old as the hills,</p><p class="poetry">That life and experience teach:</p><p class="poetry">The poor man suffers that keenest of ills,</p><p class="poetry">An impediment of his reach.</p><p class="citeauth">G. J.</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reading</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Thegeneral body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, ofIndiana novels, short stories in “dialect” and humor in slang.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">We know by one’s reading</p><p class="poetry">His learning and breeding;</p><p class="poetry">By what draws his laughter</p><p class="poetry">We know his Hereafter.</p><p class="poetry">Read nothing, laugh never—</p><p class="poetry">The Sphinx was less clever!</p><p class="citeauth">Jupiter Muke</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">radicalsim</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Theconservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">radium</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Amineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a foolwith.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">railroad</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Thechief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are towher we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highestfavor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">ramshackle</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Pertainingto a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as the Normal American. Mostof the public buildings of the United States are of the Ramshackle order,though some of our earlier architects preferred the Ironic. Recent additions tothe White House in Washington are Theo-Doric, the ecclesiastic order of theDorians. They are exceedingly fine and cost one hundred dollars a brick.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">realism</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Theart of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscapepainted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reality</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Thedream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one shouldassay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">really</span>, <span class="pos">adv.</span> Apparently.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">rear</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> InAmerican military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reason</span>, <span class="pos">v.i.</span> Toweight probabilities in the scales of desire.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reason</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Propensitate of prejudice.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reasonable</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Accessibleto the infection of our own opinions. </p> <p>Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">rebel</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Aproponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">recollect</span>, <span class="pos">v.</span> Torecall with additions something not previously known.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reconciliation</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span>A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for the purpose of digging up the dead.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reconsider</span>, <span class="pos">v.</span> Toseek a justification for a decision already made.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">recount</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> InAmerican politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player againstwhom they are loaded.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">recreation</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Aparticular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">recruit</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Aperson distinguishable from a civilian by his uniform and from a soldier by his gait.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">Fresh from the farm or factory or street,</p> <p class="poetry">His marching, in pursuit or in retreat,</p><p class="poetry">Were an impressive martial spectacle</p><p class="poetry">Except for two impediments—his feet.</p> <p class="citeauth">Thompson Johnson</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">rector</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> In theChurch of England, the Third Person of the parochial Trinity, the Cruate andthe Vicar being the other two.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">redemption</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Deliveranceof sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deityagainst whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mysteryof our holy religion, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but haveeverlasting life in which to try to understand it.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">We must awake Man’s spirit from his sin,</p><p class="poetry">And take some special measure for redeeming it;</p><p class="poetry">Though hard indeed the task to get it in</p><p class="poetry">Among the angels any way but teaming it,</p><p class="poetry">Or purify it otherwise than steaming it.</p><p class="poetry">I’m awkward at Redemption—a beginner:</p><p class="poetry">My method is to crucify the sinner.</p><p class="citeauth">Golgo Brone</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">redress</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Reparationwithout satisfaction.</p> <p>Among the Anglo-Saxon a subject conceiving himself wronged by the king was permitted, onproving his injury, to beat a brazen image of the royal offender with a switchthat was afterward applied to his own naked back. The latter rite was performedby the public hangman, and it assured moderation in the plaintiff’s choice of a switch.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">red-skin</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> ANorth American Indian, whose skin is not red—at least not on the outside.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">redundant</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Superfluous;needless; <i>de trop</i>.</p> <div class="poem">The Sultan said: “There’s evidence abundant<br />To prove this unbelieving dog redundant.”<br />To whom the Grand Vizier, with mien impressive,<br />Replied: “His head, at least, appears excessive.”<br /><p class="citeauth">Habeeb Suleiman</p></div> <p class="quote">Mr. Debs is a redundant citizen. Theodore Roosevelt</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">referendum</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Alaw for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn thenonsensus of public opinion.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reflection</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Anaction of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to thethings of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reform</span>, <span class="pos">v.</span> A thingthat mostly satisfies reformers opposed to reformation.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">refuge</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Anythingassuring protection to one in peril. Moses and Joshua provided six cities ofrefuge—Bezer, Golan, Ramoth, Kadesh, Schekem and Hebron—to which one who hadtaken life inadvertently could flee when hunted by relatives of the deceased. Thisadmirable expedient supplied him with wholesome exercise and enabled them toenjoy the pleasures of the chase; whereby the soul of the dead man wasappropriately honored by observations akin to the funeral games of earlyGreece.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">refusal</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Denialof something desired; as an elderly maiden’s hand in marriage, to a rich andhandsome suitor; a valuable franchise to a rich corporation, by an alderman;absolution to an impenitent king, by a priest, and so forth. Refusals aregraded in a descending scale of finality thus: the refusal absolute, therefusal condition, the refusal tentative and the refusal feminine. The last iscalled by some casuists the refusal assentive.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">regalia</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Distinguishinginsignia, jewels and costume of such ancient and honorable orders as Knights ofAdam; Visionaries of Detectable Bosh; the Ancient Order of Modern Troglodytes;the League of Holy Humbug; the Golden Phalanx of Phalangers; the GenteelSociety of Expurgated Hoodlums; the Mystic Alliances of Georgeous Regalians; Knights and Ladiesof the Yellow Dog; the Oriental Order of Sons of the West; the Blatherhood ofInsufferable Stuff; Warriors of the Long Bow; Guardians of the Great HornSpoon; the Band of Brutes; the Impenitent Order of Wife-Beaters; the Sublime Legionof Flamboyant Conspicuants; Worshipers at the Electroplated Shrine; ShiningInaccessibles; Fee-Faw-Fummers of the inimitable Grip; Jannissaries of theBroad-Blown Peacock; Plumed Increscencies of the Magic Temple; the Grand Cabalof Able-Bodied Sedentarians; Associated Deities of the Butter Trade; the Gardenof Galoots; the Affectionate Fraternity of Men Similarly Warted; the FlashingAstonishers; Ladies of Horror;  Cooperative Association for Breaking into the Spotlight; Dukes of Eden;Disciples Militant of the Hidden Faith; Knights-Champions of the Domestic Dog; the HolyGregarians; the Resolute Optimists; the Ancient Sodality of Inhospitable Hogs;Associated Sovereigns of Mendacity; Dukes-Guardian of the Mystic Cess-Pool; the Society forPrevention of Prevalence; Kings of Drink;Polite Federation of Gents-Consequential; the Mysterious Order of theUndecipherable Scroll; Uniformed Rank of Lousy Cats; Monarchs of Worth andHunger; Sons of the South Star; Prelates of the Tub-and-Sword.</p> <p id="religion" class="entry"><span class="def">religion</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Adaughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.</p> <span class="dialoge"><p>“What is your religion my son?” inquired the Archbishop of Rheims.</p><p>“Pardon, monseigneur,” replied Rochebriant; “I am ashamed of it.”</p><p>“Then why do you not become an atheist?”</p><p>“Impossible! I should be ashamed of atheism.”</p><p>“In that case, monseiegneur, you should join the Protestants.”</p></span> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reliquary</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Areceptacle for such sacred objects as pieces of the true cross, short-ribs ofthe saints, the ears of Balaam’s ass, the lung of the cock that called Peter torepentance and so forth. Reliquaries are commonly of metal, and provided with alock to prevent the contents from coming out and performing miracles atunseasonable times. A feather from the wing of the Angel of the Annunciationonce escaped during a sermon in Saint Peter’s and so tickled the noses of thecongregation that they woke and sneezed with great vehemence three times each. Itis related in the “Gesta Sanctorum” that a sacristan in the Canterburycathedral surprised the head of Saint Dennis in the library. Reprimanded by itsstern custodian, it explained that it was seeking a body of doctrine. Thisunseemly levity so raged the diocesan that the offender was publiclyanathematized, thrown into the Stour and replaced by another head of SaintDennis, brought from Rome.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">renown</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Adegree of distinction between notoriety and fame—a little more supportable thanthe one and a little more intolerable than the other. Sometimes it is conferredby an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">I touched the harp in every key,</p><p class="poetry">But found no heeding ear;</p><p class="poetry">And then Ithuriel touched me</p><p class="poetry">With a revealing spear.</p><p class="poetry">Not all my genius, great as ‘tis,</p><p class="poetry">Could urge me out of night.</p><p class="poetry">I felt the faint appulse of his,</p><p class="poetry">And leapt into the light!</p><p class="citeauth">W. J. Candleton</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reparation</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Satisfactionthat is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">repartee</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Prudentinsult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion toviolence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics ofthe North American Indian.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">repentance</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Thefaithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in adegree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">Desirous to avoid the pains of Hell,</p><p class="poetry">You will repent and join the Church, Parnell?</p><p class="poetry">How needless!&#8212;Nick will keep you off the coalsAnd add you to the woes of other souls.</p><p class="citeauth">Jomater Abemy</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">replica</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Areproduction of a work of art, by the artist that made the original. It is socalled to distinguish it from a “copy,” which is made by another artist. Whenthe two are mae with equal skill the replica is the more valuable, for it issupposed to be more beautiful than it looks.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reporter</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Awriter who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">“More dear than all my bosom knows, O thou Whose ‘lips are sealed’ and will not disavow!” Sosang the blithe reporter-man as grew Beneath his hand the leg-long “interview.”</p><p class="citeauth">Barson Maith</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">repose</span>, <span class="pos">v.i.</span> Tocease from troubling.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">representative</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span>In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and withoutdiscernible hope of promotion in the next.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reprobation</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Intheology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine ofreprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by thesad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition,others are predestined to salvation.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">republic</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Anation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same,there is only a permitted authority to enforce an optional obedience. In arepublic, the foundation of public order is the ever lessening habit ofsubmission inherited from ancestors who, being truly governed, submittedbecause they had to. There are as many kinds of republics as there aregraduations between the despotism whence they came and the anarchy whither theylead.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">requiem</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A massfor the dead which the minor poets assure us the winds sing o’er the graves oftheir favorites. Sometimes, by way of providing a varied entertainment, they sing a dirge.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">resident</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Unableto leave.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">resign</span>, <span class="pos">v.t.</span> Torenounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">‘Twas rumored Leonard Wood had signed</p><p class="poetry">A true renunciation</p><p class="poetry">Of title, rank and every kind</p><p class="poetry">Of military station—</p><p class="poetry">Each honorable station.</p><p class="poetry">By his example fired—inclined</p><p class="poetry">To noble emulation,</p><p class="poetry">The country humbly was resigned</p><p class="poetry">To Leonard’s resignation—</p><p class="poetry">His Christian resignation.</p><p class="citeauth">Politian Greame</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">resolute</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Obstinatein a course that we approve.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">respectability</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span>The offspring of a <i>liaison</i> between a bald head and a bank account.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">respirator</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Anapparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby tofilter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">respite</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Asuspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executiveto determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecutingattorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">Altgeld upon his incandescend bed</p><p class="poetry">Lay, an attendant demon at his head.</p><p class="poetry">“O cruel cook, pray grant me some relief—</p><p class="poetry">Some respite from the roast, however brief.”</p><p class="poetry">“Remember how on earth I pardoned all Your friends in Illinois when held in thrall.”</p><p class="poetry">“Unhappy soul! for that alone you squirm O’er fire unquenched, a never-dying worm.</p><p class="poetry">“Yet, for I pity your uneasy state,</p><p class="poetry">Your doom I’ll mollify and pains abate.</p><p class="poetry">“Naught, for a season, shall your comfort mar,</p><p class="poetry">Not even the memory of who you are.”</p><p class="poetry">Throughout eternal space dread silence fell;</p><p class="poetry">Heaven trembled as Compassion entered Hell.</p><p class="poetry">“As long, sweet demon, let my respite be As, governing down here, I’d respite thee.”</p><p class="poetry">“As long, poor soul, as any of the pack You thrust from jail consumed in getting back.”</p><p class="poetry">A genial chill affected Altgeld’s hide While they were turning him on t’other side.</p><p class="citeauth">Joel Spate Woop</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">resplendent</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Likea simple American citizen beduking himself in his lodge, or affirming hisconsequence in the Scheme of Things as an elemental unit of a parade.</p> <p class="cite">The Knights ofDominion were so resplendent in their velvet- and-gold that their masters wouldhardly have known them. “Chronicles of the Classes”</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">respond</span>, <span class="pos">v.i.</span> Tomake answer, or disclose otherwise a consciousness of having inspired an interestin what Herbert Spencer calls “external coexistences,” as Satan “squat like atoad” at the ear of Eve, responded to the touch of the angel’s spear. Torespond in damages is to contribute to the maintenance of the plaintiff’sattorney and, incidentally, to the gratification of the plaintiff.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">responsibility</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span>A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luckor one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">Alas, things ain’t what we should see</p><p class="poetry">If Eve had let that apple be;</p><p class="poetry">And many a feller which had ought</p><p class="poetry">To set with monarchses of thought,</p><p class="poetry">Or play some rosy little game</p><p class="poetry">With battle-chaps on fields of fame,</p><p class="poetry">Is downed by his unlucky star</p><p class="poetry">And hollers: “Peanuts!&#8212;here you are!”</p><p class="citeauth">“The Sturdy Beggar”</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">restitutions</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Thefounding or endowing of universities and public libraries by gift or bequest.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">restitutor</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Benefactor;philanthropist.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">retaliation</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Thenatural rock upon which is reared the Temple of Law.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">retribution</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Arain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of theunjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.</p> <p>In the lines following, addressed to an Emperor in exile by Father Gassalasca Jape, thereverend poet appears to hint his sense of the improduence of turning about toface Retribution when it is talking exercise:</p> <p>What, what! Dom Pedro, you desire to go</p> <p>Back to Brazil to end your days in quiet?</p> <p>Why, what assurance have you ‘twould be so?</p> <p>‘Tis not so long since you were in a riot,</p> <p>And your dear subjects showed a will to fly at</p> <p>Your throat and shake you like a rat. You know That empires are ungrateful; are you certainRepublics are less handy to get hurt in?</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">reveille</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Asignal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up andhave their blue noses counted. In the American army it is ingeniously called“rev-e-lee,” and to that pronunciation our countrymen have pledged their lives,their misfortunes and their sacred dishonor.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">revelation</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Afamous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. Therevealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.</p>

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