<?xml version="1.0"?>       <!DOCTYPE package PUBLIC "+//ISBN 0-9673008-1-9//DTD OEB 1.0 Package//EN"         "http://openebook.org/dtds/oeb-1.0/oebdoc1.dtd"><html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/x-oeb1-document; charset=utf-8" /><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/x-oeb1-css" href="devil.css" /><title>The Devil&#8217;s Dictionary: N</title></head><body lang="en-US">  <h1>N</h1> <p class="entry"><span class="def">nectar</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A drinkserved at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation islost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to aknowledge of its chief ingredient.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">Juno drank a cup of nectar,</p><p class="poetry">But the draught did not affect her.</p><p class="poetry">Juno drank a cup of rye—</p><p class="poetry">Then she bad herself good-bye.</p><p class="citeauth">J. G.</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">negro</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The <i>piece de resistance</i> in the Americanpolitical problem. Representing him by the letter n, the Republicans begin tobuild their equation thus: “Let n = the white man.” This, however, appears togive an unsatisfactory solution.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">neighbor</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Onewhom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how tomake us disobedient.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">nepotism</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Appointingyour grandmother to office for the good of the party.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">Newtonian</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Pertainingto a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that anapple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors anddisciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">nihilist</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> ARussian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of theschool is Tolstoi.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">Nirvana</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> In theBuddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise,particularly to those wise enough to understand it.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">nobleman</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Nature’sprovision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction andsuffer high life.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">noise</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A stenchin the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign ofcivilization.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">nominate</span>, <span class="pos">v.</span> Todesignate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitableperson to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">nominee</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Amodest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligentlyseeking the honorable obscurity of public office.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">non-combatant</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Adead Quaker.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">nonsense</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Theobjections that are urged against this excellent dictionary.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">nose</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Theextreme outpost of the face. From the circumstance that great conquerors havegreat noses, Getius, whose writings antedate the age of humor, calls the nosethe organ of quell. It has been observed that one’s nose is never so happy aswhen thrust into the affairs of others, from which some physiologists havedrawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.</p> <div class="poem"><p class="poetry">There’s a man with a Nose,</p><p class="poetry">And wherever he goes</p><p class="poetry">The people run from him and shout:</p><p class="poetry">“No cotton have we</p><p class="poetry">For our ears if so be</p><p class="poetry">He blow that interminous snout!”</p><p class="poetry">So the lawyers applied</p><p class="poetry">For injunction. “Denied,”</p><p class="poetry">Said the Judge: “the defendant prefixion,</p><p class="poetry">Whate’er it portend,</p><p class="poetry">Appears to transcend</p><p class="poetry">The bounds of this court’s jurisdiction.”</p><p class="citeauth">Arpad Singiny</p></div> <p class="entry"><span class="def">notoriety</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Thefame of one’s competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessibleand acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob’s-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage,with angels ascending and descending.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">noumenon</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Thatwhich exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, thelatter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can beapprehended only be a process of reasoning—which is a phenomenon. Nevertheless,the discovery and exposition of noumena offer a rich field for what Lewes calls“the endless variety and excitement of philosophic thought.” Hurrah (therefore)for the noumenon!</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">novel</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A shortstory padded. A species of composition bearing the same relation to literaturethat the panorama bears to art. As it is too long to be read at a sitting theimpressions made by its successive parts are successively effaced, as in thepanorama. Unity, totality of effect, is impossible; for besides the few pageslast read all that is carried in mind is the mere plot of what has gone before.To the romance the novel is what photography is to painting. Its distinguishingprinciple, probability, corresponds to the literal actuality of the photographand puts it distinctly into the category of reporting; whereas the free wing ofthe romancer enables him to mount to such altitudes of imagination as he may befitted to attain; and the first three essentials of the literary art areimagination, imagination and imagination. The art of writing novels, such as itwas, is long dead everywhere except in Russia, where it is new. Peace to itsashes—some of which have a large sale.</p> <p class="entry"><span class="def">November</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Theeleventh twelfth of a weariness.</p> </body>    </html>